Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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