im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
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Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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