I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize