I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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