Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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