im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
