at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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