did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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