bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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