you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
