I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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