I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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