I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
50% drunk capacity currently
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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