What did we do last night that was yellow?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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