just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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