i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
