He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I forget how to act sober
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
