covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
