i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
