Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
