Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
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I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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