I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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