Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
