It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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