you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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