I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
