in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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