I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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