I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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