Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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