you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize