She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
