hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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