He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
