Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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