I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
