I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
