She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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