Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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