I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
