so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize