Porn is love you can see.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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