I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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