btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
