Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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