I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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