he wants to bone in the snuggie
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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