how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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