Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize