he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
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I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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