Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
