Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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