i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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