So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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