There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
