six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
