She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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