One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
