Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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