I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
