is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
