butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
