i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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