My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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